The Y Factor

It happens every year with these TV Talent shows. One act is so awful to such an infinite level, that they progress much much further than any sane world would normally allow. But... we don't live in a sane world do we? The proof is there for all to see.

Previous World-Class terrible acts that have featured on the X Factor have included Chico and the Cheeky Girls, but twins John & Edward, this year, have taken the art to a whole new level. When it come to the genre of awful performances, they are surely Galactic if not Universal Class.

But... they are entertaining. This is the Y Factor and they have it in huge great big spades. Each week I cross my fingers they will be voted through, just to see the car wreck they will perform the following week.

If they win the whole competition, Simon Cowell will surely break down in a flood of tears. Good Luck to John and Edward! I probably won't be buying any of your albums though.

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The B of the Bang... and arthritis

The sprinter, Linford Christie, always said to get a great start in sprinting, you had to go with the B of the Bang.

He was referring to the starting pistol and launching yourself on the very same moment that it went off... the first sound... the B of the Bang.

I think the athlete I was controlling in the below game of Athens 2004 launched quite some time after... missed the Bang completely and started instead in some other word some way off camera. The word may have been Crapola. He went with the second a of Crapola.

I've never been very good at these type of video games where your success is governed by how quickly you can repeatedly pound some buttons. On the plus side however, I probably won't be crippled by severe arthritis in my fingers in later life.

Yeah!

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Life the Universe & everything according to two Random People

If you have a mind that tends to daydream, drift away and wonder the biggest questions of the Universe and creation, then the last thing you should do is meet somebody who thinks in exactly the same way.

Trust me on this.

By yourself you would perhaps drift away in your thoughts and hypothesise losing a few minutes of time. With somebody else, you will ramble on for hours and hours and end up with even more confusingly deep questions and ideas than before.

I tend to spend a lot of time on a computer these days. To prevent "Brain Explosion", midday I often go for a walk. This tends to work pretty well. I refresh my mind of all poisons and come back recharged ready for Round 2.

On one of my recent Screen-Break walks, I bumped into Dennis.

After briefly sharing a joke about some Ducks that were feeding, I somehow ended up in one of the longest conversations of my life. Don't misunderstand me, I quite enjoyed it. We discussed everything... the Big Bang, Chaos theory, Linear Time, the Hadron Collider, Planet formation, Solar flares, past lives, curved time, dark matter, reality, human perception, quantum mechanics, spacial wormholes, singularities, mass, gravity, atoms, neutrons, photons, light speed, God, Aliens and maybe a few other things... oh yes, and ducks. Dennis was a very clever and intriguing fellow.

What should have been a brief 10 minute walk ended up lasting over 2 hours. Was a bit behind after that. Should have paid a bit more attention to the concept of Linear Time. :o)

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Video Racing Games - Just how real do you want it?

I recently found myself in a daft conversation (yes it was at the Pub) regarding Formula 1 games and their realism.

The point was made that a certain game was pretty bad as it didn't feel very realistic. Well... just how realistic do you want it? The games can never be 100% realistic otherwise only professional Formula 1 drivers would be able to successfully play them... and they probably have a lot better things to be getting on with... apart from Jacques Villeneuve.

Anyway, as long as they look authentic with cool engine sounds and graphics and are fun to play, I think that's the most you can ask for. If I had to drive a real Formula 1 car, I would probably be extremely tired by the end of Lap 1, fall unconscious on Lap 2 and wake up in hospital 3 weeks later. A game that could provide that level of realism wouldn't be very popular.

A point conceded though, F1 05 on the PlayStation 2 is maybe a bit too easy. Ok, it's your turn to go up to the Bar. Mine's a pint of Fosters.

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The High Street Strikes Back ?

During my regular trips to the Post Office these last few years, I haven't helped but notice the grim emptying of all the shops. One by one it seems, once vibrant store fronts being replaced by empty dead shells with mountains of never to be opened post shoved through the letterbox. It's pretty depressing stuff.

Running a real life bricks and mortar shop these bad economic days seems incredibly tough. The biggest empty store along our Local High Street is the old Woolworths. It's a very large store which probably no Company believe can make work. Along the relatively short stretch there are around 8 or so smaller premises that have not seen life for many many months. You can tell things are bad when even the Charity Shop closes down!

Rents are high and spending traffic is low. This is not a good formula for long term business prosperity.

Maybe it's just because Christmas is looming, but today, I was pleased to see that two of the smaller empty shops had new ownership and were planning to reopen. Brilliant. Could this be the first signs of recovery for the High Street? Too early to tell maybe. The first is a Shoe shop and the second a Toy Shop. Good Luck to both of them. If starting a real life physical shop, this time of year must definitely be the best moment to start.

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Deal or No Deal... still

I've been watching a lot of Deal or No Deal recently. I'm amazed that such a simple concept is still surviving since its first airing 4 years ago back in 2005. Since this time, the show has now given away over 18 Million pounds. Remarkable.

For those that somehow haven't seen it, the show is centered around 1 contestant each day who selects a gradually decreasing number or 22 random boxes with money in them. Future contestants then open the selected box and what ever sum is revealed inside is scratched from the game. Values contained range from 1p to £250,000. At certain stages, The Banker phones in and makes a Monetary offer based on the Money remaining for the Contestant to stop playing. Presenter, Noel Edmonds relays the offer then asks, "Deal or No Deal?". Obviously, the longer you can keep the Big Money Boxes in the game, the larger the offer.

Of course... the whole thing is utterly random, but that doesn't stop Contestants forming strategies and Noel reminding them to think more following a bad run. You're completely in the lap of the Gods with this game unless you resist greed and accept the Bankers offer at some point.

Wonder how you get to be on the Show? Maybe they will read this and I will get a special invite... maybe.

Here's how NOT to play the game. She should have thought a lot harder about her strategy. :oP ---- WARNING: Some Bad language.

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Asda are Great Value... from a certain point of view

As the wise old jedi from Star Wars Ben Kenobi once sad, "Everything is dependent on a certain point of view."

Fictional tripe some may say, but not me however. The Universe and everything in it is totally dependent on your own personal perspective of it. We are all on the same journey from birth through to death, it's just that some people are in First Class travel, some in Economy Class, a few stuffed in the Cargo hold and a much greater number holding onto the wings outside for dear life.

Yes... very interesting.... so why the Asda logo picture? Well... it's all to do with that certain point of view again or more accurately an advertising point of view.

An advert was on TV today for Asda supermarket boasting that around 1400 of their items were cheaper in store than another leading Supermarket. Great, you may say, lets shop there then. But hang on, Wait! 1400 out of how many items are cheaper? 1400 out of 1400 sounds pretty good, but what if it's 1400 out of 10,000? That would actually mean, most items are more expensive in Asda. So you see, these advertised figures mean nothing as they are arbitrary and cannot be compared to anything.

Supermarkets are very competitive in their pricing these days and are constantly changing to stay competitive against one another. So in summary, it's probably best just to go to the closest. At least you save on Petrol.

Er yes, that's what I say.

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